I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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