If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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