she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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