just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We got so high we made milksteak
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You ate ashes out of my bong
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
