We're like a lot better than the average bears
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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