just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
