Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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