Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
