So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just cut my nipple shaving
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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