mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
