New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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