My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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