She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Your penis caused this!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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