I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
