the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
