I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
