The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm always down for nudity.
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