Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
