I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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