32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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