I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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