He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
