Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Found the puke drawer
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
