dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
