Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just gift wrapped bread.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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