dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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