this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
porn star boner night. come get it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The beers last night were like the tears from god
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
