so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
