ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
