We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
COCAINE IS GR8
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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