There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
