There is no way he is gay with that hair.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
