Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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