New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
