So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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