Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
