They should really pass out barf bags in church
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
