you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
