Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
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