what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
