Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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