I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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