he wants to bone in the snuggie
time to smoke my breakfast
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
