I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
