Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
