that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
