well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
