6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
