pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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