So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
