i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
